3 Things to Expect When Dating an Older Guy
Out of all the relationships I’ve been in, the most interesting ones were with men a few years older than me. In fact, most of my friends are older than me. Coincidence? Maybe… I often felt more attracted to older guys than the guys my age, or younger.
Dating a partner who is older has its benefits and drawbacks, just like any relationship.
Here are some of the things you can expect when dating an older man.
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It’s A Learning Opportunity For You
Dating someone a few years older than you, gives you a different perspective on how someone else handled their younger self.
Was he as responsible as you are? How did he grow into the person he is today?
In addition, having an older partner gives you a chance to look into the future. You’re tasked with asking yourself, ‘do I want to be like him at that age or do I want a completely different path in life?’
There’s a six-year age difference between me and my boyfriend. Dating a guy in his early thirties has taught me a lot about how I envision myself in the future, such as owning a home, being more financially stable, and having more of a backbone.
It’s A Learning Opportunity For Him
When you both go through the stage of finding out what the other likes, there’s a good chance that he will find your hobbies interesting. There’s a lot of influence you can have being the younger partner. You can introduce him to fun activities, movies, or how you view things differently from your more youthful perspective.
On the other hand, you may be into activities that he has already outlived. It’s important for you both to keep an open mind and have the courage to try out new things together.
I know for sure that I bring out the fun side of my boyfriend in the relationship. We go on trips and restaurants that we’ve never been to before, creating exciting memories along the way. The more spontaneity the better!
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Your man may be ready for things that you’re not ready for. The topic of children and marriage may come up at some point, but the discussion could go either way.
Some older men may feel pressured to start a family; whereas some are attracted to younger women with hopes of not starting a family anytime soon. In fact, deciding on a family is one of the biggest issues younger-older couples deal with.
For me, I know that my boyfriend wants a family in the next five years, while I’ll just be hitting thirty. It brings me to ask myself, ‘will I be ready financially and emotionally at the time?’
The best way to approach long-term commitments is to stop avoiding the hard topics and start talking about them.
The age difference does not mean…
One of the most stereotypical questions I get from naysayers is on the topic of financial security.
Public service announcement: my boyfriend is not my sugar-daddy.
Saying it loud and proud for all the independent women in the room!
But seriously, being with someone who is financially stable is top priority in terms of what I look for in a relationship. This does not equate to dating someone who can support me financially.
The key to any successful relationship is strong communication. It’s important when dating an older guy, that you two are honest about where you are in life. Avoiding the uncomfortable topics will make it difficult to stay together. So be direct and be consistent on topics such as moving in together, your current lifestyle, your career goals and personal goals.
For the most part, age isn’t anything but a number. Age won’t automatically make someone more committed or more responsible. It’s all about their character. When dating someone older, the best way to have a lasting relationship is not judge everything by age but by how he treats you.
Let’s Talk: Have you been in a relationship with a large age difference? Is age just a number?